i don't know why i feel the way i do but i think its because i don't have you here with me. i feel so lost and out of sink without you. there is so much anger in me and i feel like i'm losing you, that we're never gonna be together again. like if you and i don't see each other, all that we have will be lost. i'm going crazy without you. i hear voices calling your name and begging for you. but its me, its my voice inside me calling for you, maybe for you to end it, maybe to make my suffering go away maybe to have someone i love so dear close to me again. i feel i can't cope with the simple stuff anymore. my life is going to the shitter and i'm plummeting without you. there is so much despair in my voice when i speak about you, unwilling to get my true emotions out, torn apart from my other half, although i feel we are still one. i don't think i can handle another loss if you are going to leave me too. i need to see you soon because i think i'm dwindling away. i'm falling apart and i can't even grasp what i was anymore. i'm lost among the forest and all the wild animals can sense my fear, they are sniffing all around me they can taste it now. i'm crying out for your help, for you to come and save me from these wild beasts. and its scares me most becase i fear i'm becoming one of them....

Well now you know how i feel and have been feeling for some time now. i'm lost and the one person who i thought could save me can't, and i know i can only save me from myself. but i do miss you terribly, you're my shining star, my other half, my mellie. so may years apart and i can't get you out of my system. we live two lives intertwined by our friendship. why can't it be so easy as you just to walk down the street and meet me at piggy's? why can't we just turn back time and have our childhoods back? why is it that we have to grow up so far away, so distant from each other's experiences, i should be dating chris' best friend, or you here dating my (non existant beau right now)'s best friend. we were supposed to do everything together, you and me still have to do that little bit of fun we've both been raving about to all of our friends. it shall be a grand time, and for you i would do anything my fair mellie. for you i would move mountains, and catch al the shooting stars if only it would make you happy...

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